


Five inappropriate times Thor beamed Jack up - excerpted from the personal memoirs of General Jack O'Neill (USAF ret); or Some crap Jack jotted down in a notebook to piss Daniel off

by zats_clear



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: 5 Things, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-23
Updated: 2011-03-23
Packaged: 2017-10-17 05:38:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/173478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zats_clear/pseuds/zats_clear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor likes Jack's company</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five inappropriate times Thor beamed Jack up - excerpted from the personal memoirs of General Jack O'Neill (USAF ret); or Some crap Jack jotted down in a notebook to piss Daniel off

**Author's Note:**

> aurora_novarum made me do it.

You might think that Thor only beams me up when there is something important to talk about, like saving the galaxy. But no, sometimes he just beams me up to his happy little ship in the sky to ask deep questions about the human race (yes, I have pointed out that Carter or Daniel would give better answers), eat dinner, or play chess. I  _have_  beat him. Once.

The first non-emergency beaming was after a long hard day of paper pushing, briefings, and departmental meetings. Kill me now. Instead, Thor beams me straight up out of the shower. _The shower!_  The guy has no shame.

Another memorable incident occurred  _during_  an actual inter-galactic emergency. I can’t remember the details now, what’s one more Hail Mary among friends, but suffice it to say, my entrance could have gone better. I was up on my roof having a little quality time with my telescope, the Perseids were beautiful that year, when suddenly I find myself at Thor’s feet on one knee with my hand raised (to adjust the telescope) and apparently my mouth open. The rest of my team, already in place on the bridge, had a sudden allergy attack and was reduced to coughing fits and, in Daniel’s case, body shaking silent laughter. I hope he wet himself.

Thor’s ability to pinpoint the worst possible moment to invite me over is uncanny. Like the time he almost lost a chunk of his little of his little grey butt beaming me up from the shooting range.

I almost had to remodel my kitchen one other time. Daniel had come by for dinner and while I was busy pan frying some turkey cutlets and braising some green beans, the good doctor talked about …well, I haven’t got a clue what he was talking about but he seemed pretty intent on telling me, so I just did my usual smile-and-nod. You know, he kept right on talking for another 20 minutes or more after I had been spirited away? If it weren’t for dinner being burned beyond recognition and the smoke billowing from the kitchen, he might not have ever noticed.

Then, a few months later, I’d thought it was the right time to move on from Sara, to put the past behind me and actually get involved with someone. Kerry and I had been going through this whole song and dance for a while, but it wasn’t really going anywhere. Not really. Then, what with being all broken up about losing Daniel out there in his personal never-never land again and trying to keep Carter on the ground by pretending it wasn’t any more real this time than it had been any of the last half dozen times he’d died, my judgment took a holiday and I was well on my way to screwing over a perfectly lovely woman. Which is how I wound up lip locked with Thor, my hand pressed against his nonexistent breasts, on the Observation Deck of the Daniel Jackson. 

To this day, I can’t be sure if he is one of the most intelligent life forms in the universe or just another kinky alien with a weird sense of humor.


End file.
